Maybe...
"We live in a polarised world" - I'm sure you've heard this several times. You are either a positive person or a negative one. You are a democrat or a communist. You are into rock'n'roll or hip hop. You are pro-this or pro-that.
From the most mundane things to the really impactful ones, it seems like we are forced to pick sides. And I think it has always been like this, it's not exactly a generational thing. The difference is that - like in many other things - internet and social media has exponentially increased this polarisation.
People seem to refuse to take the time to understand the situations they so quickly like to label - maybe because they don't have the time, maybe because they are too lazy, maybe because they feel the need to express their opinion - take your pick.
Needless to say, this hastiness often leads to pointless arguments and hardly ever ends up solving any issue.
It's difficult to pin point exactly the origin of this, but I tend to believe that it's related to the lack of humbleness, to the extreme need to be right (hello ego!) or, the need to be part of something or to be accepted.
Probably, this also justifies those people who keep saying they hate "maybe" as an answer.
If you've been in the corporate world, I'm sure you've met some of these people. I know I have. It's either "yes" or "no", "this" or "that". But if you answer "maybe" or any synonym, the other person might just roll their eyes and label you as incompetent or unprepared.
Whatever the case may be, unless it's a life or death case, or a situation of imminent danger, this need for a quick and very specific correct answer, always reminds me of one of my favorite Taoist tales, about the Chinese farmer and his horses.
According to this tale, a long time ago, there was a humble Chinese farmer who lived on the mountains with his son. One day, their only horse ran away. That horse was they're way of making a living. That evening, all of his neighbours came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear about your horse. This is most unfortunate.”
“Maybe.”, replied the farmer.
The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, aren't you lucky? What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!”
The farmer again said, “Maybe.”
The following day his son tried to tame one of the wild horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbours then said, “Oh dear, poor boy, that’s too bad".
The farmer responded, “Maybe.”
A few days later the imperial officers came to their village to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbours came around and said, “Isn’t that great? How lucky!”
Yet again, the farmer replied, “Maybe.”
There are, of course, several conclusions to this story... the Taoist view, according to which good or bad fortune is just part of the natural flow of life. One can also note the farmer's refusal to quickly judge an event. Or we can learn with the farmer's openness to whatever may came, without the need to attach himself to a gain/loss outcome.
Whatever one takes from this tale, I'd say it would be wise to keep it in our minds.
image created with A.I. / © Gonçalo M. Catarino
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